The long overdue, but well worth the wait....report on Duck Beach

And I didn't even write it myself. But Annette is just too clever to not pass on her enlightening (and very accurate) description of the LDS singles all stars' favorite Memorial Day destination.

"Annette’s East Coast Blog #2: Duck Duck Beach: A behind-the-scenes look at how to party with 600 of your closest LDS single friends

Yes, I know, I said I would never go to Duck Beach, not in a million single years. But, everybody in DC was doing it, so rather than sit at home by myself I decided to check out this annual singles “conference” held every year down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I joined the throngs of faithful Duck-Beachers and made the trek. Here is the inside scoop for those of you who couldn’t make it this year, or for those of you who are wondering what this enigma of “duck beach” is really all about:

Picture #1 and #2: Nothing says “party like its 1999” like a beach party full of 600 Mormons of English pioneer ancestry (hence the white pasty skin hanging out all over the beach, which very quickly turned to beet red as people disillusioned themselves into thinking they could actually get “tan”) and people who really DID party in 1999 because they (we) were all in college by that time…..

Picture #3 How to catch crabs on the beach: At night down on the sand large blue crabs are running around everywhere. If you shine a light in their eyes, they freeze, and you can pick them up. Legend has it, on the eve of the full moon at duck beach, the bravest of men gather down on the sand, with 70 of their closest single female friends that they are trying to impress, to catch a bucket full of crabs. Then, everyone links arms and stands toe-to-toe, in complete darkness, while the bucket of crabs is dumped out on the sand in the middle. If you flinch or scream like a little girl when the crabs go crawling across your feet, then you lose the game, and you lose all hope of finding true love at duck beach…

Picture #4: How to hold Sacrament Meeting for 600 LDS Singles who come to crash your hometown branch meetinghouse every Memorial day weekend: The solution? Setting up chairs in every nook and cranny of the chapel, including the kitchen, where Liz is poised, mentally preparing herself for a spiritual gathering, including an impromptu “ward choir” composed of 100 out-of-town guests. The Kill Devil Hills Branch loved having us there, and capitalized on 600 Mormons gathered together on one beach by holding a scout fundraising BBQ that Saturday. Thanks to us, the scouts will be headed out to Utah for some real camping this summer. (It must be a rough life as a scout living in beach paradise without an opportunity to “rough it” in the wilderness.)

Picture #5: Rub-a-dub-dub, 50 Mormons in a Tub: This, my friends, is the essence of duck beach: at any point during the day or night there is bound to be a massive group of your closest friends (and strangers) in a hot tub everywhere you go. Hot tubbing is an essential transition in between any and all duck beach activities, hot tubbing after lounging by the pool all afternoon, hot tubbing before and after entering the Atlantic Ocean to prepare for its brisk temperatures this time of year, hot tubbing while other people prepare your tasty meals for you, hot tubbing while playing cards (“Pool Spoons” is a favorite pastime, where the spoons are placed at the bottom of the swimming pool and you play with waterproof cards in the hot tub), hot tubbing in the morning before breakfast, hot tubbing while making crucial crossroading life decisions, etc. You get the idea. And for those of you who are worried that hot tubs aren’t good for your health, we always had at least 2 anesthesiologists, a couple of surgeons and a surplus of Mormon medical students in residency in the hot tub with us just in case. Also included several attorneys in the case of any liability, and more dentists than could ever be useful. Ahhhh, duck beach.

Picture #6: Can you say “great and spacious building”???? This is a typical duck beach house. Perfect for you and 30 of your closest friends to hang out in, until somebody texts somebody else, who texts somebody else, who texts somebody else………..next thing you know your house is “the place” to be because Mormon singles love nothing more than simply showing up where everybody else is showing up for the sake of showing up J

In sum, Duck Beach gave to me 87 new facebook friends, hundreds of Kodak moments, and a very nice tan to last all summer long….I'd challenge someone to find a more productive way to spend your Memorial day weekend :)"

Couldn't have said it better myself.